It's raining today. This annoys me. It annoys me first of all because I own two umbrellas, and I know where both of them are (on the floor of my car), and I knew it was going to rain today, and I did not manage to bring one to school. It annoys me because I always go to Panera between Friday morning classes for coffee and a chocolate chip Muffie, and I had to walk through the rain to get there. And it annoys me because I need to run later. I really want to love running in the rain. But last time I did water got in my contact and it rolled back in my eye and I ran half a mile with one eye open and one eye closed. I don't love running in the rain.
This semester I've started going to the Friday midday Eucharist service in chapel, and today the Gospel reading was the baptism of Jesus. I didn't think much of it. Then during the prayers of the people I caught one line between zoning in and out: "Pour out your gift of water on all creation." And I thought, HEY! God IS pouring out God's gift of water on all creation! Rain is like BAPTISM!"
Now, I know I am hardly the first person to connect rain to baptism. The Eucharist liturgy even mentioned the flood. But sometimes we need reminders, and I was reminded. So I sat there in the dry chapel feeling good about myself for realizing this and thinking about how my walk home after Greek would be like a mile-long affirmation of my baptism. I felt good about this all the way up until I had to leave the chapel to go to the theology building for Greek, and my thoughts changed from "Remember your baptism and be thankful" to "Oh, why, God, why?"
On the walk home I really tried to remember my baptism and be thankful. But it was cold. And my hair was getting frizzy. But then I thought about how babies cry when they get baptized. They don't like it, either. But that water is still a symbol of God's commitment to them. And I guess that's true with rain. On my walk home I made peace with the fact that God's grace doesn't depend on whether I'm thankful for it.
Then halfway home some people I know only a little stopped and made me in their car so they could drive me the rest of the way. Sometimes, grace is easy to be thankful for.
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I, too, tried to be positive about the rain. But when the third car drove past and splashed water up to my shoulders, it was difficult. I didn't think of baptism, though. Thanks for reminding me of that!
ReplyDeleteAllie, I most definitely miss conversation with you, and this blog makes me realize that much, much more. You're neat! Let's catch up soon.
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Have you read "I Was Told There'd Be Cake"? It's a best seller book of essays by a young single woman. Your blog entries remind me of that style of book.
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