Confessing Grumpiness

Today has been one of those days. It didn't start out that way. I was tired when I got up, but I'm always tired when I get up. And it's Monday, but I don't particularly mind Monday. Monday is Pastor Tuesday. My week is already off and running, and Monday can be a good time to get things done.

And there was a lot to get done today--preparing for tonight's Lenten study, picking out liturgy for Sunday's service before tomorrow's bulletin deadline, getting started on sermon preparations. Those were the big things. Only there seemed to be so many little things popping up that I started to wonder if I would have time for the big things. And then the little things started going wrong, like when I discovered a conference I thought I had registered for weeks ago had never actually gotten my registration and check.

A little past noon, I got a call from a woman I'd spoken to about housing needs last week. She and her family were being evicted from their current residence, and I had told them to call me closer to the eviction for me to arrange a temporary hotel stay.

"We have to be out of here NOW," she told me on the phone today. "Can you do something soon?"

I could and I did. But not without being annoyed about it. Do you think I have nothing else to do today? I mentally said to the phone. And when my fax to the motel didn't go through the first time and the family called back: I don't have time for this!

It was not lost on me that while I was getting grumpy over my delayed to-do list, a family was worried about where they were going to sleep tonight. It wasn't lost on me. I tried to keep things in perspective. Sometimes compassion is hard even when it seems like a good idea in theory.

I did eventually get to the things on my to-do list. As I flipped through one of Bill's books searching for liturgy, I came across a prayer of confession. "We confess to you this morning that we can be a grumpy and unsatisfied people," it said. It was based on the Old Testament lectionary reading for the week, one of many passages in which the newly exodized Israelites are whining in the desert, this time because they are thirsty.

I'm not using that prayer in the service this Sunday, but I confess that I can be a grumpy and unsatisfied person. If the most inconvenient thing that happens in my day is the chance to help a family find a place to sleep, I don't have much to whine about. I pray that especially on "those" days, I'll be able to take a deep breath and find joy in whatever work God is giving me to do.