In fourth grade social
studies, we had to memorize the last part of Patrick Henry’s famous “Give Me
Liberty or Give Me Death” speech. The
words come back to me sometimes in that weird way you remember things from a long
time ago. “Gentlemen may cry ‘Peace,
peace’,” it began, “but there is no peace.”
It was years later that I realized he was quoting Jeremiah.
I’ve been thinking about
that line again since last week, when General Conference voted to change
nothing about the church’s stance on homosexuality, not even to officially
admit we disagree. The arguments and
politics behind such votes are complex.
But one rule of discourse is simple: no matter your stance, it would
behoove you to claim a basic commitment to church unity.
Here’s how Adam Hamilton
and Mike Slaughter put it, in their defeated “agree to disagree” amendment: “It
is likely that this issue will continue to be a source of conflict within the
church. We have a choice: We can divide,
or we can commit to disagree with compassion, grace, and love, while continuing
to understand the concerns of the other.
Given these options, schism or respectful co-existence, we choose the
latter.”
If I had been a General
Conference delegate, I would have voted in favor of the amendment. It would have been, at least, a small step in
the right direction.
But I wouldn’t have been
completely happy about it. The way they
put it, the choice seems so obvious: schism or respect? Division or grace?
And that makes me sound
pretty bad when I say that I’m not sure “respectful co-existence” is my choice. But what I mean is that I don’t find our
current “co-existence” so respectful at all—certainly not to our LGBT brothers
and sisters.
I’m not saying division
is necessarily the best answer. But
maybe it does deserve a real place in our conversation. Maybe we do need to give up this idea we’ve
held onto so tightly, that our task as a denomination is to preserve our sense
of unity at all costs.
Yes, I know—it is Jesus’
prayer that his followers might be one (John
17:21). That’s why I don’t say the
above lightly. Believe me, I love the
United Methodist Church. It has been,
since my early childhood, the place that taught me about God, Jesus,
discipleship, love, compassion, justice, forgiveness, and faith. If we divided, I would grieve.
And to further complicate
things, I do actually believe that we can only truly be the body of Christ
together. All of us, from D.C. to
Yamoussoukro, from incense-wielding Catholics to slain in the Spirit
Pentecostals. The United Methodist
Church only represents part of this diversity of the body of Christ, but it
does represent a lot of diversity, nationally and globally. And that’s good. I value that.
I value being in community with people who are different from me, and
even with people with whom I disagree. I
know I have things to learn from them.
So yes—I value unity.
It’s just that when I
look at the church, even now, unity isn’t what I see.
That’s why I’ve had this
edited version of Patrick Henry and Jeremiah running through my head this week:
“Gentlemen [and women] may cry ‘Unity, unity’,” I hear them say, “but there is
no unity!”
The way I see it, there is no unity when loyal, lifetime
United Methodists are already being told (directly or indirectly) that their
families are unwelcome in church, because their families are “incompatible with
Christian teaching.”
There is no unity when homosexual young adults are already being
told they have to choose between answering a call to ministry and being in a
fulfilling, committed relationship.
There is no unity when pastors are already required to draw a line
between couples they can marry, and couples they can’t.
And most importantly, there is no unity when people have already
left the church because they can’t support injustice and inhospitality, or when
people have never bothered to enter a church because they associate
Christianity with bigotry and homophobia.
There is no unity
because, if “committing to disagree with compassion, grace, and love” means
maintaining the status quo, we have
already tacitly chosen schism. No, it’s
not the dramatic, knock-down-drag-out schism we fear. It’s not the kind of schism where you have to
sue each other for church property. Instead,
it’s a quiet, invisible schism between those who are fully welcome inside the
walls of the church, and those who are not.
The choice Hamilton and
Slaughter give us between schism and “respectful co-existence” may sound like a
clear choice, but it is a false one. We’re
not choosing between schism and unity here.
We’re choosing between schism and schism.
So, then, the question
becomes: schism along what lines? Do we
choose the schism that comes from standing up for justice, or the schism that
comes from crying “Unity, unity!”?
After the vote last week,
I heard and read several different responses from LGBT friends. “I refuse to leave,” said one, “because I
believe that love will win.” I admire
that, because it’s a response that refuses to be run off, that refuses to
believe that the way things are is the way that have to be, that refuses to
stop fighting for justice from the inside.
“I will always be
Methodist,” said another, “but it’s finally time for me to look for a non-UMC
church.” I admire that too, because it’s
a response that refuses to stay in a church that tells him God didn’t make him
for the same kind of love as everyone else.
Stay and fight, or divide
with grace? I don’t know the answer, but
I am interested in a real conversation.
There’s a part of me that thinks we’d be better off to go our separate
ways, those of us who are in favor of full inclusion of LGBT people in the life
of the church, and those who are not. We
don’t have to hate each other. We don’t
have to stop talking to each other. We
don’t have to stop praying for each other.
Maybe, idealistically, we could still handle the whole thing with
“compassion, grace, and love,” still “understand the concerns of the
other.” But why not do it with separate
polities, each group aligning its common life with the Gospel according to its
best understanding?
But even if separate
polities aren’t the best answer, let’s at least stop paying so much lip service
to unity. No matter how many times we
say the word, the truth is that there is no unity. Stay and fight or divide with grace, let’s
tell it like it is: we’re guilty of schism either way.
Thank you for this thoughtful response. I'm always surprised at how "emotional" I am at this. As a LLP (on the way to provisional then ordained elder, age 25 if that makes a difference) , I have yet to marry anyone. And I truly want to keep I that way until can marry EVERYONE.
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